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KEAGAN SAYS.
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22 December 2005
Tonight i pray. *cindy* nO mE gUStA QuiMiCa says: christmas is the season whereby many hearts got broken hmmm.. how true?? the effort u r putting in?? prob 100% or simply zero?? i duno. ok i shall not question. nvm. i believe and tt explains why im trying. Its really hard for me i hope u will understand its wasnt easy for me at all wasnt easy for me to admit my liking for u wasnt easy for me to fall for someone like u wasnt easy for me to like someone all over again after so so long (ttz if u know abt my past) i took so long so long to pluck up my courage to love once more i din expect anything not even ur feelings in return.. yet u gotta keep tellin me that we are better off as frenz why? why is tt so? arent we frenz now? arent we frenz a month ago? so wdz wrong?? why cant we remain as before? i din expect or even asked u to be mine so y is there rejection?? i juz want things like before how u used to msg me every now & den how u used to call and whine to cheer u up to entertain u to sayang u to listen to ur stories and crap to pat u to sleep and the list goes on and on u werent leadin me on back den why the change?? u treated me the same even after i admit my liking for u u treated me the same after u told me tt u din wana hurt me and tt u will be my bestest fren y the extreme coldness now?? its scaring me. i know u r tryin but wdz there to try? to be nice and not lead me on? -be the same as before. am i asking for too much? i wun think tt u r leadin me on y wld i think tt way? especially after all ur reminders of "juz frenz only" ok i know this will juz piss u off further but im not pushing u. neither am i making any assumptions i juz want u to be true true with ur feelings true with ur thoughts i know there's something more to it ttz y u r feeling the awkwardness and the uncomfort. i know. im sure im not assuming. and ur avoidance, its so much stronger den before understand tt u feel bad (ttz if u really do) juz want u to know that im not being nice juz cuz i like u ttz so freakin shallow sighh. i really wana know wdz wrong. i juz wana be frenz be there for u like before. fine, maybe u need some time to adjust. like u always say u do things for a reason. i shall not push u further i am sorry juz hope to hear from u soon. tgt with the reason why. am praying tt you will be fine im sure u will praying hard tt the pressure and uncomfort can be taken away so u wun be too tired running away from it. dear god.. i need an answer to it to wdz happening to me to everything ttz happening. is this ur so called obstacle for me once more?? why izit so? why do i always have to learn the hard way? harder den anybody around me? shdnt wd happened two yrs back be more den enough?! for all ttz happening, tt happened for a reason.. please lead me back to christ im back sliding no more tonight i pray in jesus name, amen. |
Keagan
 An average guitar playing guy, with dreams and aspirations. one that like things simple and keep things that way. |